Love & Marriage w/ Ruthie Ridley

love and marriage

Marriage is one of those things I have dreamed of for as long as I could remember. I yearned to be with the one that God had for me and it seemed like it took forever. I remember my mother telling me, don't be anxious, just pray, and be specific with what you ask for. I was no younger than 12 or 13 when I began to pray for that special man. At the age of 15, I decided to no longer date and wait exclusively for the man that God had prepared for me. When made that choice, I wasn't expecting to wait an entire 7 years, but I did and it was well worth my wait.

I have to tell you that everything I wrote down on that list in my journal of prayers to the Lord, I got and more. I prayed for a man that loved the Lord, treated me like a queen, would be a good father to our children, lighter skin and lighter eyes than myself (silly), taller than me and so on. Ben is all of those things and more. Looking back I realized that I could have easily settled for second best becasue I was tired of waiting and completely impatient. But it wasn't worth it. One thing I had from the very beginning with Ben, deep down in my soul, was peace. Peace that it was right, we were right and that God was in our relationship.

Fast forward to now. We are headed into our 8th year of marriage. I can honestly say that I am still completely in love with this man. Don't get me wrong, we bicker and cry, and laugh and have been through it all, but I would not trade him for the world. I say it all the time, he was made for me. One thing that has been made very evident as we have grown together is that you never stop learning about one another. We are always morphing and changing and you have to move with that person. Try to get in their head and figure out where they are at right now. Not where you think they are or who they were 5 years ago. People change with time and experience and with relationships it is important not to make assumptions and to always ask your mate questions.

If I could offer one piece of advice to a newly married couple or to a couple who has been married forever, it would be to communicate. As simple as communication might seem, it is the most powerful and key factor in a successful marriage. Talking, even when you don't feel like it, or when what you might have to say might hurt is so important. Often times than not, you will feel better and the other person will gain a better understanding of what you are thinking. One thing is for sure, men are not mind readers. As a woman I have to spell things out and be extremely clear!! It is worth the extra effort. Soul mates, friends, lovers, partners, whatever it might be, it requires work and effort. Marriage is a give and a take. Both parties have to be willing to do the work. If you are both willing, it is one of the best investments you can make in your life. You and your children will reap the benefits. Thank you for reading, wishing you all strong, love filled marriages

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