Meet Kacey! She's a wife, mother of two little ladies & blogger behind KAY-ALEX.COM we discovered this sweet mama on Instagram (of course) and we absolutely love the way she represents motherhood. We asked her to share her thoughts on the importance of a "mama tribe", continue reading to check it out!
I was recently asked what was the best piece of advice I could give a new mom. After some thought, I came up with "build your Momma Tribe." And let me just say, this advice is somewhere up there with "get plenty of rest" and "do what's best for your family."
A little back story: I had my first daughter at the young age of 23. Unmarried, without an established career and in the prime of my twenties. My friends and I were just beginning to enjoy adulthood and the luxuries of making our own money and being able to enjoy it with very little responsibility. Picking out what to wear to the club every Friday night was the hardest life decision for us. Needless to say, we were not thinking about becoming parents.
When my daughter entered the world, a lot changed for me, to include my friendships. I couldn't party like I used to. I couldn't pick up and go. I could barely have a meaningful conversation on the phone without being interrupted by a hungry/tired/ fussy baby. I found that some of my friendships began to falter. Things that bought us together, separated us. Our common interests were thrown out the window and that left little room for the growth of our friendship.
Being a 23 year old mom made me feel isolated. Like no one understood me and where I was in my motherhood journey. Let me also share that my mom passed 6 months after the birth of my daughter. I didn't have anyone I felt comfortable consulting, complaining to or laughing with about parenting. It was beyond frustrating.
I didn't realize how much of a blessing a Momma Tribe would end up being for me. Women who would sit and listen to my proud Mommy moments, answer my "dumb" questions, share parenting hacks, comfort me in my moments of #MommyGuilt, watch the kids, understand my fight with stubborn baby fat and losing the elasticity in my breasts or simply just be there without judgement. I needed ALL of this.
Now, let me say that Momma Tribes are not to be confused with your Village. Everyone has an important role in the Village with a focus on your child. But in the Momma Tribe, the main focus is moral and emotional support for Mom.
My Momma Tribe is an endless sisterhood that extends from the Moms on Instagram who don't know I exist and motivate the heck out of me, to the friends who have become apart of my extended family. These women help to amplify my voice. They are like-minded women who have my back. I'm motivated daily by their strength and drive. It's the Momma-friend who brings over food (or a bottle of wine) because she hears how stressed out you are. The Momma-friend who volunteers to watch the kids so you and your husband can have a night out to enjoy each other without distraction. It's the Momma-friend who has a completely different approach to parenting than you do but still this feeds your spirit with affirmations like "your a great parent!" It's the veteran Momma you consult with more than you do the pediatrician. Down to the Momma-friend who calls to pray over you and your family.
To my Momma Tribe, thanks from the bottom of my heart. Thanks for loving my girls like your own, for understanding my hormonal rants, for checking in on me, for stepping in without question, for making me feel like I'm doing this parenting thing right and that, other than my husband, I'm not in this alone. Motherhood is tough, but so are we... Together.